I Know My Truth

I Know My Truth

Sometimes I just want to say that I wish I could stand at the tallest point in town and scream, "I know my truth".
You know that vaguely stated line from the movie Couples Retreat? Have you watched the movie couples retreat? It's okay not to have seen it. The movie is a 2009 romantic comedy,so even you can tell that the story is constructed around unlikely romances that ultimately end in happily ever after. One of the characters, Dave (played by Vince Vaughn) gets bruised or scratched-literally-by a shark but he stretches the seriousness of his injuries a bit too far. In a series of 'post-attack' theatrics, Dave victimizes himself and wants his friends to follow that lead, but they are having none of that and the more he insists he's a shark attack survivor, the more his friends attack him for being infantile. At the point when it becomes too much for him, the moment when Dave seemingly realizes that they are right and he's wrong, he repeatedly rants, 'I know my truth'. So that's that. I, too, know my truth.
I've been wearing glasses for so long that I'd forgotten there ever were any stereotypes associated with them. Way back in the earlier 2000's when I fancied specs but couldn't get a pair because my eyes weren't defective yet, I envied the kids that wore them. I especially envied my friend since hers had a brown string attached and she'd attractively hang them around the neck whenever the thought crossed her mind. I also knew that people whispered that everyone who wore specs was brilliant, and I very badly wanted to be a part of the brilliant. I got my first pair of glasses, and several pairs and years later, I'd forgotten what it was like to desire them so badly.
Yesterday I was downtown weaving my way through throngs of people to get to the Ntinda stage in the Old taxi park when I accidentally fell into the vendor's trap. The vendor's trap, here explained, is when curiosity gets you peeping at the vendor's stall, or peeping in the direction of the vendor's stall and the ever attentive vendor assumes your interest in his merchandise. The latter is what I did. I was passing through, I was very tired, there were lots of strangers shouting in my ears or grabbing my arms and I decided to gaze in the direction of a shoe stall. I wasn't looking at Vendor's goods, I was simply glancing in that general direction but Vendor saw his 'opportunity' and jumped up to snatch it (read to snatch my arm). Two minutes later, I had persistently declined several shoe fittings and successfully retrieved my limb, but not before arousing Vendor's neighbour's wrath. Vendor's neighbour jumped out of his seat to attack me for wasting their time, all the while reminding vendor that girls wearing specs, fake or not, do not buy from people like them (??). He said something of the sort, "Naye mwe obuwala obwambala gaago mwaabakyi, kajja wano nekakumalila ebisela nga kakyimanyi tekagenda ggula, mulekele okuja eno ewafe oba temwagala ggula. Musigale ewamwe, Kalabe, genda n'ogenda, genda genda genda."
 It all loosely translates to the last few lines above it. Now first of all dear vendor's neighbour, your friend grabbed my arm and wasted two whole minutes of my time, I did not waste his or yours. Second of all, downtown also has the taxi parks, I don't see a closer connection between Mengo and Ntinda. Thirdly, don't call my specs gaago, please don't. Just don't.
With this incident, I remembered a time, not too long ago when again from Mengo, I found myself downtown. This time, the trap landed me with two vendors selling leggings and jeggings. Upon their insistence (mostly me getting manhandled), I looked through the jeggings they presented. One after another I shook my head and when I spoke it was to tell him that I could never wear the yellow bottoms he'd thrust in my face. So he brought me the duller colors, several shades of blue and black but I still declined and started to walk away. "Naye mwanagwe sooka olinde, lindamu katono", he said. "Olabika tolaba n'obwo obugalubindi bw'oyambadde. Ogambye toyambala yellow, netuleta black ne blue oba nazo oziyise yellow?"
It meant, "just a moment, please". The continued italic, "I seriously doubt you can see clearly with your specs on, you said you couldn't wear yellow pants and when I brought you black and blue, you still declined. The specs must make you assume that everything is yellow"
The rest of his words were harsh criticisms of the people that make specs, those that wear them, anyone that sells them and I guess whoever invented the very idea. His friend added some of his own and like the other vendor's neighbor, a very similar reminder of advice once shared; a reminder that girls that wore the coveted spectacles would never shop downtown. His closing remarks as I disappeared round the corner were, "kalabe n'obuuso, kalabe wekatambula, tolina n'akabina"
I prefer not to translate that one but it made my evening.
P.S: I wrote the quotations in the best Luganda I could.

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